Kindness: The essential skill in supporting a dignified death

Sue Newsome supported her Father during the last year of his life. In this blog she shares her thoughts and feelings from a carer’s perspective.  

My Dad had suffered for a year after his stroke, his gradual deterioration was devastating for him. As his physical and cognitive ability deteriorated he became more frustrated at his dwindling independence. Dad told me he wanted to die many times in different ways throughout the last year of his life. He told me he just wanted “to lay down and die” and that he felt like he was ‘drowning’, as an illustration of his depression. Numerous times he told me he wanted to be with my Mum, who had died 15 years ago. Ironically, whilst I loved and cared for Dad and never wanted to lose him, at times I wanted him to get his wish and die.